“Hands” Off This Cinematic Masterpiece!
If you LOVE bad movies as much as I do, then “Hands” down I have a winner for you!
It’s a legendary film shot in 1966 that is now available on blu-ray – called the single worst film ever made!
“Manos: The Hands Of Fate”
“Manos: The Hands of Fate” was made in 1966 – and here is the beginning of a trend: it was written, directed, produced by, and starring Harold P. Warren!
Yes, Warren was the visionary behind it all!
Here is a very short trailer that only hints at the horror that awaits!
Here is the plot of “Manos”: a family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo – yes, TORGO!
What’s funny to me is that “Torgo” looks like a guy who stumbled out of a Gunsmoke saloon!
According to the great website IMDB: the entire film was shot with a hand-held camera that could only record 32 seconds of film at a time. It was also shot without sound; all the lines were dubbed later by two men and one woman. Jackey Neyman cried when she first heard her dubbed voice.
Even The Film’s Title Is Inept!
Here’s a wacky fact: “Manos” is the Spanish word for “hands”. So in the other words, the title of this movie is
“Hands: The Hands of Fate!”
If you need to know more, read the entire review at the terrific “DVD Drive-In” here:
When you read the “DVD Drive-In” review, they say this:
Reaching new highs (or is it lows?) in ineptitude, the independently-made regional schlocker MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE has by and large become many a filmgoer’s premium choice as the worst movie ever made (though my vote still goes to MONSTER A-GO GO).
Well, I must differ…first, look at this great double feature DVD from Something Weird video:
Yes, I proudly own “Monster A Go Go”, and yes, it is jawdroppingly inept…but NOTHING compared to the co-feature:
Psyched By The 4D Witch!
I have written about this film before. That is of course if you can really call it “a film.” But it was in movie theaters, and yes, based on the provocative movie poster, I snuck in to see it!
I cannot recommend this film highly enough – because you will be stunned that I was suckered into seeing it!
“Psyched By The 4D Witch” is one of cinema’s greatest movie titles, but it’s not so much a “movie” as it is a series of poorly shot b-roll shots with an equally poorly written narration laid over it…and shots of this actress…
As you watch, you begin to notice things, like the fact there is NO synched sound at all, meaning it’s all b-roll and voiceover of her “thoughts and reactions”! And by the way, it is the worst voiceover narration ever recorded, with pointless scenes of her in a room looking like this….
By the way, there is NOTHING “adult” about this footage, which is followed by random footage of traffic and city streets – all strung together to fill time…in fact, it was described by Something Weird Video (who was smart enough to release it on DVD) as:
“the most maddening, jaw-dropping, mind-bending piece of celluloid lunacy ever to play American theaters!”
The film was Directed by Victor Luminera…it’s his only credit – EXCEPT he takes credit on “Psyched” for Director, Writer, Composer, Casting Director, Costume Designer AND Art Department!
You understand that is EXACTLY why I love the folks at Something Weird Video – because they saved this film!
To read all about Something Weird Video, and their passionate attempt to keep the world’s weirdest films alive, click here:
And while I am focused on the three worst Directed films of all time, you can check out more cinema stinkers by clicking on here – and you will see more wacky cinema:
And now, I have THIS warning for you:
“WILDER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! EXPLICIT BEYOND BELIEF!”
Hard to misunderstand what this film has to offer – except in the hands of one of the worst Directors of all time, it offered almost NOTHING they promised!
Fleshpot On 42nd St.
Welcome to Times Square’s seediest period ever!
“Erotic, Sensual and Smoldering!”
Director Andy Milligan was a master of bad moviemaking….like these gems:
For “Fleshpot On 42ndSt.”, Milligan turned his cameras on the legendarily seedy streets of New York in the early 70’s…
The plot was simple: A street whore desperately seeks love and acceptance against the backdrop of the criminal element of early 1970s Times Square. What sort of “Criminal element?” Well, check out this bar scene and you’ll get an idea…
The film featured classic Milligan dialogue like this:
Cherry Lane: Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you shouldn’t go out with strange men?
Dusty Cole: Bob’s not strange. He’s dull.
Based on the clip I showed you, he sure is!
Of course, the pressures of Times Square can make relationships tough, as Dusty has to confide to Tony…
Dusty Cole: When I moved in with you, you said they’re be no trouble between us. You said we’d shack up together and that’s all. And I said I’d help out with the money as soon as I get a job. Don’t think I don’t apreciate what you’ve done for me, Tony. I do… but you get more then your fair share of ass. There isn’t one night where you don’t come home from that shithole where you work and wake me up in the middle of the night because you want a piece of ass. I do my part so get off my back!
And of course, how can you go wrong with conversations like this one:
Dusty Cole: How’s your mother?
Cherry Lane: She threw me out. I guess she got tired of me using all her hairspray.
While “Fleshpot” is arguably his worst film, Milligan made many other classics, which you can read about here:
And don’t forget to buy all of these classics, or I will send “Torgo” after you!
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