WILD Travel Adventures! Safari Rule #1: Don’t Run! “Food” Runs!

dangerous safari animals

Rule #1 on Safari: “Food Runs!” Hilarious And Dangerous Safari Tales!

We all know that the first rule of “Fight Club” is you don’t talk about “Fight Club.” Well, the first rule of Safari life is this:

“Whatever You Do, Don’t Run!”

south african safari

Alex and I talk all the time about going on safari, something we still have never done. However, before she take one step into the African bush, I’m going to make her read this book!

“Whatever You Do, DON’T RUN!”
True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide by Peter Allison


Let’s begin with a “safari joke”…

Two guys see a lion. One puts on a pair of running shoes. “what are you doing?” the other guy said, “you can’t outrun a lion.”

“I don’t have to,” the guy replied, “I Only have to outrun YOU.”


It’s a good point: once the Lion has a meal, he will stop attacking…and that’s what makes Africa so fascinating: because it truly is WILD.


I have always wanted to go on an African Safari…and plan to at one point. To satisfy this wanderlust, I read books about safaris, Africa, the entire experience. And “Whatever You Do, Don’t Run” is one of the most entertaining memoirs I’ve read – and it really gives you an idea of what it is like on a Safari…


This book takes you on safari through the eyes of Peter Allison, who backpacked through Africa for six months when he was 19 years old…and never left.

This book look at his life as a Safari tour guide, and includes great anecdotes about such things as:

african mice

The Great Mouse Plague” – yes, Africa has more than just hippos and giraffe – when the rains leave lush grasses behind, the mice show up – and since they can produce thousands of babies in just week, the camp was overrun by them!


“A Night In The Madgkadigkadi” – you will never forget this harrowing night when Peter and his group of guide friends find themselves stranded in the “Madgkadigkadi” – one of the most dangerous places to spend a night!


These are great stories, always illuminated with intricate details about the animals of Africa – with facts and insight to help you understand what makes these animals so amazing – and deadly!

africa safari adventures

Safaris are, in fact, dangerous due to the unpredictability of the animals…as they say:

“The closer you are to the wild, the closer the wild is to you!”

The book tells many stories of “close encounters” with a variety of wild animals – who are not predatory against human so much as just not in the mood to have one in their way!

dangerous safari animals

Oh, the book offers lots of insight about people as well!

You see, apparently going to such an extreme location doesn’t make some people excited about being on a safari. Allison shares numerous tales of bored teens – and bored adults, too!


The Author shares a great anecdote about predatory Lions and how they mark their territory. A battle for supremacy between northern and southern males – over a Lioness – leave our guide and a family of four directly in the path of an epic battle for survival! After experiencing this once-in-a-lifetime lion battle and grassland chase – with Lions charging directly past their truck! – Peter couldn’t stop smiling. But when the family he was guiding got back to camp, the father went to speak to other people, then approached him.

“Those others saw a leopard this morning. And a cheetah.” Peter was about to explain that he had seen one of nature’s most astonishing – and rarely seen – sights when the father followed up with “it looks like you’ve got some catching up to do.”

What nerve! Speaking of nerve, here is a shot of the Author photographing a Leopard UPCLOSE:


“Whatever You Do, Don’t Run” is a great primer for anyone interested in going on safari, and it has only made me more determined to get there…

And Allison has published a sequel, called of course:

Dont Look Behind You

“Don’t Look Behind You!”

I can’t wait to read this next!


And if you want more incredible African adventures, check out this book!

africa adventures crazy river

Read all about this incredible adventure here:


Time for an adventure!

Categories: Books / Media, documentary films, Exotic Travel, Talent/Celebrities, Travel, Travel Adventures, Travel Memoir, Uncategorized

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9 replies

  1. A great article, John. I prefer to watch the animals from the safety of a hide and then I don’t have to worry about running. We saw some wonderful sights when we were at a game lodge last year. I got a few good photographs of lion and rhinos.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on johnrieber and commented:

    A friend just came back from an African Safari….now I want to go!



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