How About Some “Spam” Lip Balm?
When I saw this picture of the Spam Lip Glaze I thought:
“What The Friday!?!?!?!?”
Yes, it’s that time again: no, I’m not going to inundate you with wacky spam products like this “Spam Burger”:
That’s right, as good as that looks, we’re not making one today.
Instead, I want to share some of the strangest spam EMAILS and \BLOG COMMENTS I get here at the blog…more than 467,000 so far – but I’ve culled through them to find the “cream of the spam crop” as it were….
Need a snack before we begin? Go ahead, dig into these “Spam Bites On The Go.” It’s OK, you’re going to need something to get you through the latest spam blog comments I’ve gotten…let’s begin with this interesting note:
“The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!”
And share it he did – with me – so why is that spam? Well, did I mention that the link attached to that note took me to a place you DO NOT WANT TO GO ONLINE.
Trust me on that.
I didn’t know that was my name, but I got this spam comment that claims I am – and has more information to share as well:
“Skyking, this clue is your next piece of information. Immediately contact the agency at your earliest convenience. No further information until next transmission. This is broadcast #3698. Do not delete.”
We simply don’t use the word “transmission” enough, but apparently I need to wait for another one.
Next up is this email…it was sent to me last month, yet had a date attached from 7 years ago, and a message that stumped even me:
“Friday, March 30, 2012 – 4:57 pm You didn’t mention that there was also curry in the avocado sauce! Now you’re stealing my heart.”
Two things: first, I have not posted a story about “avocado sauce” and second, this message came from a website that was decidedly NOT ABOIUT FOOD, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Next up is this question:
“You’ve mentioned a couple of times now that you sew pockets into your shorts to carry extra gels. Care to share specifics/pics? I’d be interested in doing something similar.”
First, I don’t sew, and second, I don’t carry “extra gels.” Also, you can probably guess where this type of email came from and trust me:
DON’T CLICK ON THAT LINK, YOU WON’T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE.
Next up, did I mention my name is John? Yes, my name is John – MY NAME IS NOT MICHELLE. Yet that didn’t stop this email from getting to me:
“Michelle. I like Orlys accent too. I just meant sometimes, she gets talking so fast, she trips, and has to slow down and ”reach” for the right word; that costs her valuable seconds, and gives the reporters time to cut her off.”
Well,, “Michelle” was spammed by a low-cost auto insurance website, yet it got to me.
And next was this refreshingly honest comment:
“Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?”
Well, what’s wrong with that? It seems straightforward and friendly.
Perhaps it’s the phrase “it in fact was a amusement account it” seemed a bit “off.”
Perhaps it’s the next line “look advanced to far added agreeable”.
Or, perhaps the “giveaway” was where the note came from.
IT WAS SENT FROM A “POOPCLUB”.
Yes, it was.
This one just came and I love how articulate it is as well:
“I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect.”
I “HIT THE NAIL UPON THE TOP!”
Lastly, how about this – clean and simple.
“Hello. And Bye.”
That one I like – a lot more than this “Spam Bird Recipe”:
Sorry, I had to share one last food-related “Spam” just to cleanse my palate.
Oh, and here’s a late addition to the spam – now offering me cash money!
“I found your forum very attractive and promising. I want to buy advertising space for a banner in the header, for $1500 per month. I will pay via WebMoney or PayPal, 50% immediately, and 50% in 2 weeks.”
Free money for advertising! All I have to do is click on the link to their website to make sure I’m OK with taking their money! HA!
I don’t know how many of you take the time to see what’s in your spam folder, but I do and this is what it got me…and one late add – a dollar for anyone who can tell me what THIS means!
“They feminized that thy haemal colors to the danish invariant during the taper circumnavigated a queen to tend cimmerian withdrawal for self-rule.”
I’ve shared some of these wacky spam notes before as well, just click on the link to take a look:
Enjoy my latest collection of “spam bites”!
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Thanks so much for reading!