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“Dirty” 007! Sexy Tommy Wiseau! “Naked” Hunting! The “Wildest” Films Ever Made!

By johnrieber on February 16, 2015 • ( 0 )

To honor Darrell Hammond’s spot on SNL 40th Anniversary impression of a dirty Sean Connery, I offer you this:

Yes, this is the former 007 – wrapped up in a red loincloth – in one of the craziest films of all time – seeing double?

And it just gets “wilder and wilder” from there. I’ve got some of the “wildest” films ever committed to celluloid….from a “dirty 007” to this:

When an entire film revolves around a naked woman being hunted by another naked woman with a bow and arrow, does that make it “wild?” I think we are getting close to an answer here. And if by “wild” you are referring to this guy:

One definition of “wild” could be what someone looks like then they’ve been locked in a room for 15 years and then given a ballpeen hammer…what follows is “wild” by any standard…

Finally, is a movie “wild” because of a singular cinematic performance that transcends space and time, and includes movie dialogue that can never be forgotten:

Time For A “Wild” Film Fight Club!”

Let’s not waste any more time, and get into what I think are the wildest movies ever put on celluloid!

I know what you are thinking: let’s stop the debate right now because NOTHING is wilder than this movie! A giant mask roams the Scottish countryside leading an Army of killers. What? You’ve never heard of “Zardoz?”

Well, this may be the “wildest” film ever committed to celluloid! This is ACTUAL dialogue from the film!

“The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken!”

Yes, “Zardoz” has spoken!

Sean Connery shows off much more than his “007” in this movie, and it is a twisted science fiction masterpiece as a result!

To find out what is behind this madness, click on my story about film’s wackiest “one word” wonders by clicking here:

https://johnrieber.com/2012/10/01/suspiria-caligula-zardoz-wacky-one-word-movie-wonders/

Remember that once you see “Zardoz” you can never UNSEE it, but that’s what makes it so “wild!” I’m not sure that Sean Connery talks about “Zardoz” much, but boy is it a “wild wild” ride!

Speaking of which, let’s not forget this guy:

“Oldboy!” Descent Into Madness!

Another one word title is “Oldboy!” This journey involves more than just distance, it includes a trip into the darkness of the human soul.

Imagine being locked up in a hotel room for fifteen years – without any explanation – then suddenly set free with two weeks to uncover who did it and why – that is the simple and brilliant set up of “Oldboy” – and includes one of the greatest “single take” scenes of all time!

A brutal film about betrayal, love, murder and redemption, it is also one “wild wild” cinematic trip that you can read all about here:

https://johnrieber.com/2012/06/30/killer-assassins-hard-boiled-killers-death-by-hammer-classic-asian-thrillers/

I think “Oldboy” is one of the greatest films ever made – but it is also “crazy insane” from beginning to end…but not all movies are “wild” because they are brilliant – some of our nominees for “wildest” film might be legendary for a different reason – like this Actor, who burst onto the film scene and became an immediate movie legend:

Tommy Wiseau Rules!

“The Room” is as much a “must see” as any film ever made! Once you’ve seen Tommy Wiseau chew up the scenery – and the screen, the front row of seats, and perhaps even the refreshment stand in the lobby, you will believe he is a “wild wild” man!

Read all about the majesty of “The Room” – and co-star Greg Sestero’s brilliant book about the making of the film – by clicking here:

https://johnrieber.com/2013/10/27/tommy-wiseaus-classic-the-room-now-a-book-tommys-secrets-revealed/

I cannot wait to see what Tommy Wiseau has for us next…and millions of “The Room” fans agree with me! Unfortunately, our next nominee died recently and can no longer offer up “wild” movies like this:

“Hunting Humans Was Her Favorite Game!”

How can you argue with that? Legendary Sexploitation Director Jess Franco loved to make “wild” films like this, mostly starring his always naked wife, cult Actress Lina Romay:

Director Jess Franco directed a ton of films – most you’ve never heard of, some you are glad you haven’t – but he just kept chugging along, making crazy film after crazy film highlighting his “always naked” wife. There are SO many “wild” Jess Franco films…here are just a few examples: