James Bond 007 Fails His Mission – To Entertain!
It had to happen: the world’s most popular secret agent would have to stumble, but did it have to be so badly?
I am reviewing all of the James Bond films in order, and we are at Roger Moore’s second effort – and the 9th film in the series, and what a mess it was!
Here is the trailer:
“The Man with the Golden Gun” was the thirteenth and final complete James Bond novel Author Ian Fleming wrote before he died, and it was the film that saw the partnership between series Producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli fall apart.
Roger Moore said that this took place behind closed doors, but is it the reason the film is such a disaster?
Let’s look at the plot and the reasons this is one of the worst 007 films of them all!
The film begins when we meet Scaramanga – played by Christopher Lee, a terrific choice for villain – and we immediately find out he has a third nipple.
Wait…what?!?!
It is known as a supernumerary nipple but can also be called an accessory nipple or third nipple.
And it is completely pointless to the plot of the film! Completely and totally – NO reason it needs to be included!
UPDATE: I was reminded by someone that Bond adds his own fake third nipple to impersonate Scaramanga at one point in the film…while that is true, for me it doesn’t justify that as a plot point….but I appreciate it being pointed out
Scarmanga is at some exotic Thailand fortress. Herve Villechaize delivers champagne to him and Maud Adams, and we will see Herve have a fun role as Scaramanga’s deliciously evil little comrade – because Scaramanga ends up in a hall of mirrors with a mobster, who he cooly kills with his “golden gun” – then a James Bond statue pops up and he shoots that as well – and the credits begin.
It turns out that Scaramanga is a hit man, and he always uses golden bullets to do the job. And right after credits, 007 is told by M that a bullet with his number on it showed up at the office.
So what happens? He’s taken off his assignment dealing with the energy crisis because he has hit man after him – he can’t work so he gets a sabbatical – again:
WHAT?!? After 8 films where Bond fears nothing, they just announce he has to hide because a hit man is after him?
As he leaves the office, Miss Moneypenny tells him that 002 was killed by a golden bullet, so Bond heads to Istanbul where that happened. That leads to chases through crowded streets and into a nightclub, where Bond swallows a bullet out of a belly dancers navel…again:
WHAT?!?!
To say the tone is off in this film from the start is an understatement….and I am being harsh, but only because the previous films in the series knew exactly what they were and what they were trying to achieve, but in this one it’s a strange mix of tone and motivation to be sure.
So, this farcical fight scene and bullet swallowing is a bit “hard to swallow” when another sequence has 007 watching Maud Adams shower, then 007 grabs her very roughly and threatens to break her arm if she doesn’t tell him something – an off-putting scene, especially because he slaps her hard and threatens to do it again!
According to Roger Moore:
“Director Guy Hamilton wanted to toughen Bond up more, in order to be closer to Fleming’s original intent for the character. One of the ways was by having Bond twist Maud’s arm painfully behind her back, and threaten to break it unless she told him what he wanted to know. Moore didn’t enjoy filming the scene, feeling that Bond would have instead charmed the information out of her.”
Roger had it right, and after that scene we never see him act like that again in the film – he is, however, extremely stiff in the role. I noticed he wears suits and ties almost all the time, even in circumstances where he shouldn’t – and he seems to move very stiffly, a very uptight 007.
Along with Maud Adams, the other “Bond Girl” is Britt Eklund, who plays Mary Goodnight, who helps Bond track down “the man with the golden gun.”
I wrote down two pages of notes, detailing chase scenes, fight scenes, kung fu fighting and more, but it was all somewhat pointless and slow-moving. When we finally see Scaramanga kill his boss and take over his nefarious plot to turn the sun’s heat into an energy weapon, I was exhausted.
And remember J.W. Pepper, the racist cop from “Live And Let Die?” Well, in a stretch that would make a gymnast proud, he and his wife just happen to be vacationing in Thailand when Bond is there!
That leads to a weird bit of slapstick involving a small boy and baby elephant that is best not described.
Oh my. However, it does lead to a nifty bit with a car:
One chase includes this impressive stunt. Turns out that was quite a feat!
“The three hundred sixty-degree car-spiralling jump over a canal was performed in just one take by uncredited British stuntman “Bumps” Williard as eight cameras simultaneously captured the spectacle. So potentially hazardous was the nature of the stunt, divers, ambulances, and cranes were on standby alert, in case of any catastrophic consequences. The stunt was so rapid that the film is shown in slow motion. Williard was given a large bonus for completing the jump on the first take!”
The films end back in that hall of mirrors for a one-on-one showdown between Bond and Scaramanga – and to be honest, it was a pretty dull finale!
This was a fairly pointless, un-involving story, and a waste of some really great talent on camera. Lee was fine, but the stakes were SO LOW…and they really have to get Roger Moore’s 007 out of the suits and ties!
“The Man With The Golden Gun” does offer some of the fun of watching James Bond running around getting into fights and chases – and bed of course, but something was clearly wrong in the execution of this one.
Here’s another bit of a debacle for the film, and it involves the soundtrack – remember the “Live And Let Die” theme song by Paul McCartney?
It was a massive worldwide hit! Well, apparently the Producers went after another hot rock band at the time for the theme song for this film – and they got it!
This is the Alice Cooper album “Muscle Of Love” – which was released in a brown box! Check out the track listing:
The fourth song on the “Muscle of Love” album has “Man With the Golden Gun” on it. The CD version includes notes claiming it was to be the theme song of the movie, and it is clearly a Bond theme. But the producers rejected it and used a retro 60’s “Swinging London” song by Lulu instead!
There have been other “censored” Bond themes – see the story here:
So,,,a bad guy with three nipples. Bond sucking bullets out of a woman’s navel and a finale with two men in a funhouse hall of mirrors…yes, it was just that bad!
Reviews were scathing:
“If you enjoyed the early Bond films as much as I did, you’d better skip this one,” Nora Sayre wrote in The New York Times. And that was kind. Box office plummeted for the film – it only grossed $97.6 million worldwide, the weakest box-office performance by any of the Roger Moore 007 films.
That fact, combined with behind-the-scenes problems, nearly made this the final Bond movie! In fact, there was a three year break before 007 would return to the big screen – and I will have that review next!
But let’s review some previous 007 films first:
This was Moore’s second time as the “00” agent with a license to kill…here’s my review of his first time in the tuxedo:
Prior to Moore taking over the role of 007 in “Live And Let Die”, Sean Connery made a financial windfall to reprise the role after a one film break:
But was the film as lazy as Connery seemed to be in the role?
Here is my review:
As I said, I am reviewing the 007 films in order, and before Connery returned to the role, we had the “one and done” Bond – see my review here:
The “one and done 007” George Lazenby film was one of the best Bonds of all time, and it all happened because Sean Connery left the series!
“You Only Live Twice” was the end of Connery until “Diamonds” – here’s my review of that film and details of “The Rock’s” connection to 007!
You can see all of the reviews for every Bond film by going to my front page.
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Categories: 70's Cinema, 70's Music, Action Films, Cult Movies, Film Fight Club, Movies, Revenge Movies
johnrieber 
Hi John, although I know I watched this, I don’t remember it at all.
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Most have negative memories of it – but wait until you see the next one!
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👍, no memory of it can’t be good either
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That’s right Robbie!
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They all seem to have their own behind the scene dramas
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this one was quite a mess, and like they just threw a bunch of elements at a wall and chose some that stuck, including the third nipple )
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Someone told me it was a plot point, and it was for the very slimmest of reasons…just a mess of a film and I LOVE the Bond movies!
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I don’t remember much of this Bond movie. Perhaps that’s because it wasn’t very good.
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Indeed – one of the all-time weakest efforts – as my story noted, it took 3 years for the next film to come out and repair the damage – but boy did it! Oh wait, that’s my next review1. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Well said, and I’ll be eager to read your post!
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Yes, I tend to view this one as the weakest. (I tend to put Moonraker up there too, but I must admit that it’s been quite a while since I last saw that one.) I forgot all about the third nipple, what a strange plot point. Talk about taking the movie in a completely different direction! 🤣🤣🤣
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That’s one reason I am watching them in order again, to see what worked, what didn’t, and how the series tried to “adapt to the times”…so blaxploitation elements in “Live And Let Die” and a strange detour into kung fu training in this one! I’ve written my “Moonraker” review already but won’t post for two weeks – but you nailed a very specific point I am going to make about how it upended a longstanding tradition for the series by trying to chase fads! There’s a tease for you!
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Can’t wait. It is funny too. I remember thinking Roger Moore was the best when I was a kid. Looking back now as an adult, I’m shocked I even thought that. He looks out of place compared to Sean Connery in his prime or even a more rough, everyman like Daniel Craig.
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The third nipple was used as a plot point, when Moore wore one to gain entry as Scaramanga.
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Yes, I understand that
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I updated my story to include that, I just don’t think it’s a reason to have such an unnecessary physical trait in the film…and know that I LOVE the bond series which is why I am re-watching a reviewing them in order – it started when someone suggested the series be “cancelled” due to some of the early films and the content in them, which I think is ridiculous. Thanks for the comment!
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I agree John this one was a disaster….I also agree that Lee made a wonderful villain….the school kids were better fighters….very low on my list. chuq
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I didn’t even bother to mention them, but they sure were…and that was a pointless sequence, just an effort to put king fu in the film because it was popular at the time…really misguided….thanks for the comment, appreciate hearing from you!
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You are welcome it is always a great review. chuq
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I had to go and see this because my girlfriend at the time liked Bond films. I thought it was lame, that Roger Moore wasn’t taking it remotely seriously, and it has to be one of the worst films in the whole franchise. Sorry!
Best wishes, Pete.
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I am expecting some passionate fans to defend the film against my review, but I totally agree Pete…the tone was off, he was very stiff, there were no stakes really, and the few attempts at humor were pretty lame…as I said in my review, it did so poorly it was 3 years before they made the next one, which was for many of the best of all…we will see in my review! Thanks as always for commenting!
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